INTERVIEW CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

What does a cocktail have to be if it goes on your menu at Sadie?

Good. We all have to like it. That’s pretty much it. We all have to love it.

Who’s we?

Me. Greg Bryson, Joanna Tiwald. That’s the bartending team over here. We go through a lot of the stuff when we develop drinks. It usually starts out when somebody has an idea. “I tried this,” “I read about that,” or, “I want to kind of start messing with this,” and we all put our heads together behind the bar and start to work on it. Sometimes it takes a long time, and sometimes on your very first try you hit the jackpot and it’s like, “Yeah! I can’t believe it. Write it down, type it up, and move on.”

How do you go about naming cocktails?

For me, that’s the hardest job. I guess I’m just not that clever. Dave Fernie’s actually amazing at that. So whenever he’s in here, “Try this. Try this. Try this. Now name them. Name all of them.”…Julian [Cox] is good at that too. He’s got lots of clever little names at all his places.

What do you look for when you’re hiring a bartender?

First and foremost, personality. We can give you a book you can memorize. We can teach you how to create a new drink. We can teach you about balance. We can help refine your palate. We can teach you about the spirits. I can’t teach someone to be pleasant and happy and cheerful and be able to build rapport with guests. Maybe I can, but I don’t have time to figure out how I’m going to teach someone to be personable. We have a couple bartenders here, one who started from scratch, never bartended ever. Joanna Tiwald. And she asked me a long time ago: “I want to bartend…I went to bartending school.” “That might not have been the best idea, but we can un-teach you.” She was persistent. We have a six-week training program here, lots of tests, and she got the best grade on all the tests, every single time. She studied her butt off. One of the big reasons was the second she meets anyone, people like her. They like being around her at the bar. They want to stick around and have dinner at the bar. I’m like, “Okay, that’s great. I can teach you everything else.”

What do you think when you hear the words bartending school?

I have flashbacks. I used to run a bartending school. I remember when I first got hired there, that’s when I became a real big nerd about the history of stuff. I kept reading things in the stupid manual and saying, “No, that can’t be right. That sounds terribly wrong. That sounds like the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard.” Slowly, I started rewriting stuff and re-teaching some stuff. A really good friend of mine, Andrew “the Alchemist” Willett. He’s one of those guys, I’ll take his knowledge and put him against Dave Wondrich any day of the week. He used to do algorithms for computer programs for computers, so he’s like a really brainy, intelligent guy. He geeked out with us and took over the school with me. We started changing the curriculum and started changing the manual. He wrote this great manual, like 300 pages, to teach people how to make the proper drink. This was before there was even a Seven Grand…We started teaching all this great stuff that we’re finding out about now, but four years ago, you were kind of stuck. And when to owner came by one day to visit, we get into the office, and he’s furious. “What the hell is this book? This book is like 250 pages! What the hell are you teaching these kids? What the hell is a fizz? What the hell is a buck? What is this crap? Here, this book is 30 pages, two weeks, they take a test, they pass, they get out, they pay us, we bring more people in. Only 20% of the people are passing your test on the first try.” “Yeah, because it’s a good test.” He was like, “No, it should be 100%, all of the time. If not, make the test easier, and then send them out on their bums.” And we all got fired for making it a proper bartending school, because it was profit driven.

Would you ever run another bartending school?

If I could do it from scratch. If I intended on never making any money. It’d be incredibly hard. Like B.A.R., their program is great, but I can’t imagine charging people $3000.

Is that what they charge?

Yeah, it’s three grand. Most of the people that do it are high up in the industry and have a brand pay for it anyways, so it doesn’t put a giant dent in their pockets. B.A.R. does a smaller program, but Pernod Ricard sponsors it and people pay like 75 bucks. It’s mostly online, and one day you show up, but that’s changing a lot. I think they’ve had a couple thousand people go through that program. And that’s one of those things, if I see that on a resume, “Yeah, let’s bring them in.” They’re getting a second look because they’ve at least been through that really good, well rounded program, which we didn’t have forever.

Who’s a bartender you’ve never worked with before that you’d really like to work with?

There are a lot of them. Chris Bostick’s a very good friend of mine, but I’ve never worked with him.

I read he’s moving to Austin.

Yeah, he’s looking to open a place in Austin.

You’ve got to work with him soon then.

No, I told him I’ll go to Austin.

Is The Varnish your go-to bar when you’re not working?

Kind of. Ever since they opened, Marcos [Tello] and Eric [Alperin] and Chris Bostick. It feels like “Cheers.” It’s small enough where everybody knows your name.

Which character from “Cheers” would you be?

I’d probably think I was Frasier, but everybody would think I was the mailman [Cliff].

So you go to The Varnish when you’re not here. Where else do you like to drink?

Writers Room. Daniel Nelson makes some good drinks. And because it’s in the neighborhood, and because we’re a restaurant, we’re lucky enough to get out just in time to catch last call. We usually either just go to the Writers Room, or pretty much all the bartenders rush over to Harvard & Stone and jump in, mad rush to the door at Harvard & Stone at 1:15 in the morning. 20 shots of Angostura bitters, followed by 20 shots of Fernet. The next you know, half an hour, we manage to party like we’ve been there for five hours, and we’re dancing on the tables.

It’s a party.

Oh yeah, if we can get over there in time, we do. Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, if it’s 1 o’clock, we’re like, “Hurry up, we can make it!” We’ll rush over there. Team building. That’s what it is. It’s a team building exercise.

If you could travel anywhere in the world to drink cocktails and spirits right now, what would it be and how come?

If I could go anywhere in the world, and I was only thinking about what the drinks are looking like and tasting like…I’ve never had a good proper two or three days of drinking in San Francisco. There are so many bars, you can’t get them all in one trip. I’d like to do that and be there for three or four days. I’d have the hangover of a lifetime, but you know, so many guys are doing amazing things up there…They probably have 12, 13, 14, 15 that are worthy of flying up for.

I know there’s kind of a burgeoning scene in Spain, in Barcelona. I heard through the grapevine that the bartending community in Spain is starting to get very active. On the world scene, I’d probably like to go there.

And there’s nothing wrong with the beach and the Caribbean and having a shit beer. Who cares, you’re in the Caribbean. That’s a great drink. It’s hard to beat that one. Any beer snob can agree that a Corona is great if you’re on the beach and your toes are in the sand and you’re looking at the Caribbean. That’s a pretty good beer regardless of anything.

You get an exemption?

Exactly.

If you could only drink one more cocktail, what would be in the glass?

So this is my last one altogether, or I get to drink this one over and over again until the day I die?

Your very last.

It sounds like I have an impending death coming, so something that will help me numb the pain, I guess. It would probably be – wow, that’s a really tough question – I don’t know, keep it simple, stupid. I’d probably have a good whiskey sour.

Who would you let make it for you?

The most beautiful woman in the world. My buddy was with us, and he said, “How is Chivas Regal best enjoyed?” “That’s easy, naked with friends.”